I enjoy playing golf. I didn’t at first, but now I am starting to really enjoy the game and the skill that is required to be good at such a simple game. Jack Nicklaus, perhaps the greatest golfer who ever lived, had a perfect way of summing up the importance of the address position: “If you set up correctly, there is a good chance you will hit a reasonable shot, even if you make a mediocre swing…If you set up incorrectly, you will make a lousy shot even if you make the greatest swing in the world.”
Reading this made me think whether Jack Nicklaus was talking about golf or talking about our kids. The above statement is true for golf and how we function with our kids. How many times do we make a perfect swing but because of our poor address on the ball shank one out of bounds. I find that the same thing is true for my boys, I make a perfect swing, but because I didn’t set things up with them, the whole situation ends up with very different results than I had planned.
Prepare for success, I am going to share a five step process for golf and draw a parallel for our kids.
Golf Says… Build a mental picture of the shot you want to hit.
Parenting Says… Brainstorm a few ideas before the kids are involved because once the kids are involved there is rarely time for creative or organizational thought.
Golf says… Take a few practice swings.
Parenting Says… Practice anything and everything ahead of time. We can be an “expert” because we have prepared ahead of time. Your kids will appreciate you more and they might even be impressed.
Golf Says… Relax your muscles before you make your shot.
Parenting Says… Relax and have fun. Your kids will enjoy the moment and they are incredibly forgiving if you laugh at your own mistakes.
Golf Says… Aim the clubface at an intermediate mark between the ball and your target.
Parenting Says… Make short attainable goals that you and your kids can meet. “We are going to have incredible family time for the next three hours”, might be better said “as lets try this for 30 minutes and see if we enjoy it.” You might find your self losing track of time. Small intermediate goals help you meet your larger goals.
Golf Says… Alternate looking at the target and then the ball, now you’re ready to go.
Parenting Says… Enjoy the moment with your kids; take the time to pay attention to the simple things. Seize the day and plan for tomorrow. Long term goals are important. Remember to enjoy the journey on the way to your goal or destination.
Golf and parenting have another thing in common – you have to practice in order to improve. You need to be consistent, get a few pointers from a friend, and don’t forget it is supposed to be fun. Get out there and have some fun.